Sex. Everyone seems to know everything about it.
But do they really?
There are, sadly, lots of lies and rumours about sex out there. And they’re not helping us. So we need to separate the truth from the lies right away. It’s important to know how our bodies and our minds work. So, here we go:
You can’t get pregnant if it’s your first time, if you’re on our period, or if you have sex in certain positions e.g. standing.
For pregnancy to occur, a sperm has to meet and fertilise an egg. It has nothing to do with the time or day you have sex, or the position in which you have sex. Even if you wash up, run around a room or urinate after sex, it won’t prevent pregnancy. If you don’t use protection, there’s a high chance of you getting pregnant.
Having sex with a virgin can cure a man of a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STI).
If you have an STI or suspect you have an STI, it’s best to go to the health clinic for proper test and treatment. Having sex doesn’t cure anyone of any disease. So next time you hear a lie like that pay no attention to it and remember the truth.
Girls who have sex and think about sex are ‘bad’ girls.
Yes sometimes people may call you a ‘bad’ girl and you may feel guilty but the truth is you shouldn’t be. Being curious about sex and being sexually active are normal for all humans—girls, boys and everyone else. Remember, girls aren’t lesser humans than boys. Like boys, we have questions and ideas about sex. It doesn’t mean we’re ‘bad’ girls. It just means we’re human beings. Nobody has the right to shame us for who we are.
If a guy likes a girl, she must have sex with him whether or not she wants to.
Your body belong to you alone. Your body isn’t some fancy gift to be given out once someone gives an order. You don’t ‘owe’ anyone sex, no matter how in love you feel. You don’t need to sleep with someone to prove you love them. Having sex is a choice you can and should make by yourself when you’re ready.
If you don’t want to have sex with a guy, he can force you to change your mind.
We see this all the time in books and movies. A girl refuses to date a guy she doesn’t like, then he keeps persisting until she agrees. This creates the impression that in real life, when we say no, we really mean yes. But in fact, ‘no means no’ and ‘yes means yes’. No one should bully you into doing what you don’t want to do. Even if we once said yes, we have the right to change our minds.
Any concerns? Talk to a trusted adult or a health professional.